Dopp Juice Archive

My weekend! Let me show you it!

(photos by emchy and liz henry… cuz my own camera’s battery died.)

Tomorrow morning I’m climbing into a bumper-sticker-covered car with Liz Henry and Cindy Emch and driving to Portland, Oregon by way of the redwood forests. Once we arrive we’ll jump out of the car, run around the city, party like we’ve joined the circus, sleep like rocks, wake up like birds, jump back into the car, and keep driving until we’ve made it to Seattle.

Then we’ll all scramble onto a stage with some other fantastic writers and read stories about childhood trauma to an eager paying audience of “Can I Sit With You?” fans. If you’ll be anywhere near Seattle on Friday night (April 25), you seriously need to get a ticket and come to this. It’s going to be amazing. (And you can see my story here.)

Several days, a whole lot of partying, and a decent number of hours in a hot tub later, I’ll catch a red eye flight to Boston and then grab a bus up to New Hampshire, where I’ll hang out with my family for a few days. During this time, I’ll turn 25. This will be celebrated in a manner that will rival Christmas.

After I revel in the legitimacy of my new age bracket for a day, I’ll head over to the UNH region for the Annual Writ Summit with the rest of the site‘s core staff. It will be a loosely-organized weekend of meetings, arts events, reconnecting, and brainstorming about what to do next with this brilliant grassroots website monster that refuses to die. I’ve heard rumors about a reunion poetry slam and open mic that Friday night, which would be crazy fun. If you’re in the area and you want to join in on the festivities, ping me and I’ll send you more details.

I’ll fly back to San Francisco on Tuesday, May 6th, where I will promptly find a large rock and hide under it for a week. I’ll come out from under that rock only for a few hours on Friday, May 9th, to celebrate my birthday at the Queer Open Mic and with a drinks outing afterward. You’re all invited.

The best way to keep track of me right now is by watching my Twitter feed. The best way to contact me is through telepathy (if that doesn’t work, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to settle for less reliable alternatives).

Any questions?

There’s a new dating site on the scene called Engage.com, and it’s bragging about its unique social aspects. In truth, it looks pretty awesome. They encourage friends to match each other up (in contrast to the “Web 1.0” model of seeking out strangers), and they seem to have the tools to make it work. They’re presenting themselves as hip and in touch with what people are really looking for. They’re also sponsoring a party tonight called Love 2.0, which I’m heading out to in about an hour.

They seem well intentioned, but they’ve missed the boat on the categories issue. Their site is so rigidly structured by gender and gender preference that I couldn’t even complete my profile without being forced to lie. It’s not the “okay, i’ll call myself this for now and then go do what I actually want to do” kind of lie. It’s the “wow, I really can’t do half the things I’d like to do here because you won’t let me be honest about who I am” kind of lie. I’m not impressed.

So last Friday, I wrote them a letter:

subj: I’d like you to acknowledge bisexuality.

Hi Team Engage,

A friend just invited me to the Love 2.0 event this Monday that you’re sponsoring, and was excited to tell me about your site. I tried to sign up, but was disappointed to find out that you don’t acknowledge bisexuality. I don’t have a gender preference in my dating, and it would be dishonest and limiting for me to express one.

I dug through your FAQ trying to find some acknowledgment of this situation, and only came up with this:

Does Engage support same-sex matches?
Of course! No one is left out on Engage. You can fix up same-sex couples as long as they’ve both indicated that that’s their preference when they registered for Engage.

It’s important for you to know that I’m feeling pretty left out right now, and many of my friends would, too.

I’m active in the social media tech industry and dating scene, and your site sounds awesome. But I can’t use it if this limitation is going to be such a major aspect of how the site is organized. It’s offensive to me.

Can you change this? Please?

Or at least tell me why it’s important for you to have the restriction?

I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond to this.

Many thanks,
Sarah

It’s been three days and I haven’t seen a response, despite the fact that their automated email promised they’d get right back to me.

So now I’m going to dress up in my finest cleavage-boosting men’s suit, head over to their party, and ask them about this myself. I’ll be joined by a friend who takes issue with the fact that they don’t acknowledge open relationships or the equivalent of Facebook’s “It’s Complicated.” (You can only be matched up if you designate yourself as single.) Weirdly enough, though, they do provide categories for Divorced, Separated, and Widowed… as though those should significantly impact how you should be labeled on the site.

Just warning you in advance.