Dopp Juice Archive

Directly from OpenOffice.org. (Non-techie note: Open Office is the free, community-developed alternative to Microsoft Office. It’s awesome. Go download it and give Bill Gates the finger. Or at least, that was the situation before this news came out…)

Microsoft Buys OpenOffice.org!For an undisclosed sum reputed to be in the billions, Microsoft’s Bill Gates has personally bought the leading open-source desktop project. Saying he “was sick and tired of open-source eating away at his profits,” the world’s richest man decided to put an end to the nuisance and simply buy OpenOffice.org. It will form part of a growing list of Microsoft acquisitions, including several erstwhile competitors, a considerable number of prominent politicians, and a few small governments.The initially stunned OpenOffice.org community–a happy-go-lucky international band numbering in the hundreds of thousands–later turned to champagne to celebrate their newfound wealth. “Bless Bill!” one happy Torontonian exclaimed, bubbly in hand. “With all this money, I can beat Mark’s time in orbit!”Gates has assured all current OpenOffice.org users that their future migration path to Microsoft Office is guaranteed thanks to OpenOffice.org’s faultless support of MS Office files formats. Users can further rest assured that the full functionality currently provided by OpenOffice.org 2.0 will be available in MS-Office 2020 – or possibly 2030.

The briefing is followed by a link to a full press release. And that page only says, “April Fools!”I just about fell over and died.

I was thinking, “Gee, I’d really like some good hot and sour soup today!” So I Googled my favorite Chinese restaurant for their details. Out of habit, I clicked the first link (I really should just be hitting “I’m feeling lucky” at this point with Google, but we all know how habits prevail). Then I saw where I was going, and became immediately concerned. Amazon.com?! Back button! Back! Go back! I don’t want to buy a book! I just want an address and phone number! Back!But my overexerted RAM didn’t hear my cry in time, and before I knew it, I was here:None other than Amazon White Pages. Surprise! Somehow they managed to move to the top of the Google results before I even knew they existed. And somehow, that part doesn’t surprise me. What does surprise me is how cool they are. They combine local photography (local photography?!) to show you the area you’re going to. (Or is it super-close-up satellite photography that’s also watching you take a shower?) They’ve also got mapquest maps (to be expected), and a place for you to enter your phone number so that the business will call you. Weird.My commentary? The good news is, the cool stuff on the web is evolving and exploding. The bad news is, it’s still being dominated by the same four companies: google, yahoo, amazon, and ebay.Tell me. Really. Why does Amazon need its own white pages?p.s. Thanks to grokfairy for the recent fascination with snowclones. White pages are the new black.

Things like this make me want to lie down in wet grass and scream at the sky in elation. That magical (and sometimes mythical) advancement of internet technology we ambiguously refer to as Web 2.0 is even closer to our fingertips: Everything Web 2.0: “The List”. Everything you never knew you wanted to be able to do on the web, and now can. Categorized and listed for your easy perusal.I’m still following Emily Chang’s eHub, which is quite organized and constantly updated — another directory of way-cool web 2.0 gadgets and goodies. And it’s just so exciting to watch. You literally can’t know about all the neat stuff out there that’s being developed every day. We’re simply immersed in it. Oo-ooh… doesn’t it give you chills?Thanks to E for passing this on via the WoolfCamp Blog. She got it from BlogHer, which kicks a bunch of ass on its own.