{"id":470,"date":"2008-06-03T04:36:47","date_gmt":"2008-06-03T08:36:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sarahdopp.com\/blog\/?p=470"},"modified":"2008-06-03T04:36:47","modified_gmt":"2008-06-03T08:36:47","slug":"how-to-kick-a-resentment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/2008\/how-to-kick-a-resentment\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Kick a Resentment"},"content":{"rendered":"
Heads up, this content is 18 years old. Please keep its age in mind while reading.<\/div>

As the conversation with Emma<\/a> today dug deeper, I remembered a process someone explained to me a year ago around working through resentments. <\/strong>It goes something like this:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Who am I resentful at and why?<\/li>\n
  2. What does this affect in my life?<\/li>\n
  3. Am I willing to try to show this person the same tolerance, pity, and patience that I’d give a sick friend?<\/li>\n
  4. What’s my part in this situation? How did I add to it?<\/li>\n
  5. Have I been telling myself that I’m right and they’re wrong? (Yes…)<\/em><\/li>\n
  6. Am I using this sense of superiority to gain self-esteem or power? (*sigh* okay, yes….)<\/em><\/li>\n
  7. Am I doing this because I’m afraid that the “regular” me is not enough? (i don’t want to admit this, but, yeah, sure, okay, that’s one way of looking at it…)<\/em><\/li>\n
  8. They didn’t act right. What values could they have been acting with instead?<\/li>\n
  9. How can I work on strengthening those values in my own life?<\/li>\n
  10. I’m grateful that I have this obstacle to practice on.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Questions #8 and #9 go together and require a lot of thoughtfulness, honesty, and humility (which I can tap into if I paid attention during #4-#7). If I can find an overlap between What They Suck At and What I Probably Oughta Work On, I’ve hit on where I need to put my focus. Then something magical happens (or I need to lather, rinse, repeat<\/em>), and the resentment starts to fade away.<\/p>\n

    Try it sometime. Let me know how it works for you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Heads up, this content is 18 years old. Please keep its age in mind while reading.As the conversation with Emma today dug deeper, I remembered a process someone explained to me a year ago around working through resentments. It goes something like this: Who am I resentful at and why? What does this affect in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-470","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adventures"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/470","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=470"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/470\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=470"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=470"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=470"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}