{"id":436,"date":"2008-04-21T22:46:26","date_gmt":"2008-04-22T02:46:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sarahdopp.com\/blog\/?p=436"},"modified":"2008-04-21T22:55:23","modified_gmt":"2008-04-22T02:55:23","slug":"restrictions-on-dating-sites-or-engagecom-is-either-lazy-or-bi-phobic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/2008\/restrictions-on-dating-sites-or-engagecom-is-either-lazy-or-bi-phobic\/","title":{"rendered":"Restrictions on Dating Sites (or “Engage.com is either lazy or bi-phobic”)"},"content":{"rendered":"
Heads up, this content is 18 years old. Please keep its age in mind while reading.<\/div>

\"engage2.jpg\"There’s a new dating site on the scene called Engage.com<\/a>, and it’s bragging about its unique social aspects. In truth, it looks pretty awesome. They encourage friends to match each other up (in contrast to the “Web 1.0” model of seeking out strangers), and they seem to have the tools to make it work. They’re presenting themselves as hip and in touch with what people are really looking for. They’re also sponsoring a party tonight called Love 2.0<\/a>, which I’m heading out to in about an hour.<\/p>\n

They seem well intentioned, but they’ve missed the boat<\/a> on the categories issue. Their site is so rigidly structured by gender and gender preference that I couldn’t even complete my profile without being forced to lie. It’s not the “okay, i’ll call myself this for now and then go do what I actually<\/em> want to do” kind of lie. It’s the “wow, I really<\/em> can’t do half the things I’d like to do here because you won’t let me be honest about who I am” kind of lie. I’m not impressed.<\/p>\n

So last Friday, I wrote them a letter:<\/p>\n

subj: I’d like you to acknowledge bisexuality. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Hi Team Engage,<\/p>\n

A friend just invited me to the Love 2.0 event this Monday that you’re sponsoring, and was excited to tell me about your site. I tried to sign up, but was disappointed to find out that you don’t acknowledge bisexuality. I don’t have a gender preference in my dating, and it would be dishonest and limiting for me to express one.<\/p>\n

I dug through your FAQ trying to find some acknowledgment of this situation, and only came up with this:<\/p>\n

Does Engage support same-sex matches?<\/strong>
\nOf course! No one is left out on Engage. You can fix up same-sex couples as long as they’ve both indicated that that’s their preference when they registered for Engage.<\/em><\/p>\n

It’s important for you to know that I’m feeling pretty left out right now, and many of my friends would, too.<\/p>\n

I’m active in the social media tech industry and dating scene, and your site sounds awesome. But I can’t use it if this limitation is going to be such a major aspect of how the site is organized. It’s offensive to me.<\/p>\n

Can you change this? Please?<\/p>\n

Or at least tell me why it’s important for you to have the restriction?<\/p>\n

I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond to this.<\/p>\n

Many thanks,
\nSarah<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It’s been three days and I haven’t seen a response, despite the fact that their automated email promised they’d get right back to me.<\/p>\n

\"Engage.comSo now I’m going to dress up in my finest cleavage-boosting men’s suit, head over to their party, and ask them about this myself. I’ll be joined by a friend who takes issue with the fact that they don’t acknowledge open relationships or the equivalent of Facebook’s “It’s Complicated.” (You can only be matched up if you designate yourself as single.) Weirdly enough, though, they do<\/em> provide categories for Divorced, Separated, and Widowed… as though those should significantly impact how you should be labeled on the site.<\/p>\n

Just warning you in advance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Heads up, this content is 18 years old. Please keep its age in mind while reading.There’s a new dating site on the scene called Engage.com, and it’s bragging about its unique social aspects. In truth, it looks pretty awesome. They encourage friends to match each other up (in contrast to the “Web 1.0” model of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,29,167,70],"tags":[170,101,169,168],"class_list":["post-436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adventures","category-community","category-sarahs-soapbox","category-social-media","tag-bisexuality","tag-customer-service","tag-dating-sites","tag-engagecom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/436","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=436"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/436\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=436"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=436"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sarahdopp.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=436"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}