How I spent my April Fool’s Day
Heads up, this content is 15 years old. Please keep its age in mind while reading.

On April 1st, I sent my whole extended family this letter:

Hey Everybody, Family I love,

I wanted to wait until it was totally official. I don't know why... It just seemed like if I told you in advance everyone would want to get on a plane, and things are rough in the economy right now so we don't need to be doing that... so maybe we can just celebrate this summer at the reunion, okay?

I got married.



Okay, I'm still running on the high. So sorry if this email isn't making much sense. It happened so fast. I met her in the garden store about a month ago (I know, so domestic, right?) and she's perfect, and she fixes all the part of me that are weird, and we're amazing together, and you're totally going to love her. We moved in together almost immediately... and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it... i don't know, it's dumb, but part of me was afraid you'd judge me.

Anyway, we had to go to Canada to get married because it's not legal in California. Thank god Canadians understand that who we choose to love is as unique as our personalities. They treated us really well, and we got questioned a little at the border, but we only had to fill out one form, so that was cool.

Oh! Pictures! Here's one of us together:

Everyone says we're really cute together.

About her... she's young, ambitious (has been growing a lot lately), bright, cheerful, a little fresh sometimes. Gorgeous. Uhh.... I guess you'll have to meet her. This summer!

Anyway, love you all, and thank you so much for being the most supportive family in the world.


My mother wrote back first with…

what a great wedding photo! I love it. Congratulations. and ..and and...don't DO THIS TO ME SARAH!!!!!

Love you,

My cousin followed generously with…

Would pruning sheers be considered a practical or an S&M-style wedding gift?

My uncle expressed his concerns:


Although I want you to know that I am very, very happy for you I have seen so many partnerships like this end with one partner complaining in tears that the other partner just sits there looking out the window and never talks, never wants to go anyplace, doesn’t share tastes in music, movies or even food. I know that your generation doesn’t want to hear my generation’s skepticism about “unconventional” relationships, but it’s just that we have seen so much heartbreak through the years.

I’m sure I speak for all your aunts and uncles when I say that we will support you now and always . . . no matter what happens.

But my aunt smoothed it over…

Sarah, Sarah, SARAH!! You look so happy together! As an energy practitioner, I just hope that she is well grounded and well rooted. I'm sending you one of those "food of the month" gifts to you and your beloved so be looking for Jobe's plant spikes coming in the mail soon. And yes, don't do that to your mother (and vicariously your AUNTS) again!

Excited about the fun responses, I passed the email around to several friends, including the man I’d been seeing lately. His response:


I always knew that you'd move on one day.

And I had heard about being cast aside via email.

This was so abrupt.


He’ll move on. He’ll be okay. …right?

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10 Responses to “How I spent my April Fool’s Day”

  1. hillary Says:

    had me going… if only i'd read the post subject before diving in. and to think i mostly avoided this on the actual day.

  2. tiffanybbrown Says:

    Your family wins. They're awesome.

  3. Meg61 Says:

    You are sooo bad. If I was your Mom I think I would have to spank you! You are very blessed to have such a cool and funny family. This is the best April Fools joke I have seen in a long time.

    Peace, Mary

  4. Addie Says:

    Can I tell you how much I love you? cause this was amazing. O.o Gah, super excited for next week. :D

  5. Susie Bright Says:

    You fooled me but good. I read the post without going to the photo, and I was SHOCKED that you would drop a bombshell like this on your poor family and lovers. Really took me aback. I finally got the nerve to click on the jpg…. and couldn't believe my eyes.

    I am the biggest sucker.

  6. sarahdopp Says:

    Eeeep! This is the problem with jokes — you can't control the delivery online. Sorry for the heart attack. xo

  7. sassymonkey Says:

    giggle. If it makes Susie feel any better that it's exactly how we DID tell many people that we got married on April Fool's Day. ;-)

  8. Ella Says:

    Darn it- I wish I woulda thunk of this one. Of course my beloved would probably most resemble a Diet Coke (of course, I've been up since 3:45 am, so I may just be delusionally craving the caffeine).

  9. Amy Says:

    Okay so checking up on you..have not heard from you in awhile…then I see this…I think I had your mother's reaction…..

  10. lizriz Says:

    How awesome funny is your fam? Love this!