Dopp Juice Archive

Dear Google,I hear you just unveiled a new Payment Processing System the other day. And like everything you build, it’s simple and user-friendly. Online stores integrate it as a payment option, and then we, the consumers, only have to enter our credit card numbers once — for you — and all participating websites immediately become a one-click checkout for us. ::wince::I love you. I hate you. I lovehate you.You’re so good at what you do. I hear nothing but good things about how friendly and creative you are, and how well you treat your employees. You offer so much free stuff to the web community. You revolutionized advertisements to be less invasive to users and more accessible to small businesses. You help us find things at the speed of ethernet. You’re really awesome. Thank you so much for all you’ve done.Except that now you know everything about all of us and that scares the heck out of me. And now you just want all of our credit cards. And I can just hear you saying, “Really, for a company that already knows all of the websites you’ve ever visited and everything you’ve ever written in an email, is that so much to ask?”I hate to be a doomsayer here, Google, but I’m seeing the makings for an information age apocolypse with this kind of power isolated in one place. Would you just stop already? Quit while you’re ahead and still appreciated? Let someone else compete with PayPal? And what’s next? Are you going to archive our phone conversations with the new internet phone technologies? Are you going to record our street conversations when you install wireless internet across San Francisco? Are your Google Maps satellite systems going to zoom in on us in our backyards and display our actions in realtime? Do you really need to push these limits?I love you, and I don’t want to hate you. So knock it off already!Signed,Your friendly local Gmail user and hourly Google searcher