I’m in two books. You should only buy one of them.
Heads up, this content is 14 years old. Please keep its age in mind while reading.

As luck would have it, the two books I contributed to this year are being launched in the same week.  This is actually quite lucky because it means I can confuse everyone with it, and distract them from looking at one book with the other.

Here they are…

1) Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation

Edited by Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergman. (Get it.)

genderoutlaw This is a very powerful and important book, and you should buy it.  I say this not as a contributor, but as someone who’s been holding space in the gender-variance advocacy world, who knows that most of you are craving more exposure and information, and don’t know how to get it without coming across as clumsy.  THIS IS A GOOD BOOK.  It’s a patchwork collage of 52 voices, many of whom are hidden in daily life, but all of whom are well-spoken and have something powerful to say.

I’m honored to add that my piece is the End Note. It’s a brief meditation at the back of the book about where I see us, and where I think we’re going.  An excerpt:

We are five years old. Eighteen. Thirty-seven. Sixty. We are starting grad school, starting companies, starting families, and starting trends. We are serving coffee and signing paychecks, nursing the sick and teaching children, building technology, growing food, producing masterpieces, and changing laws. We are woven into this culture and we are finding each other. We are sharing our notes, strengthening our stories, reaching out for one another, and welcoming everyone in.

And when we wake up in five, ten, twenty-five years, we’ll find that the queer issues we’re fighting so hard for today have been trumped by an understanding of the fluidity of gender. We’ll have learned that masculinity and femininity are not mutually exclusive, and how satisfying it can feel to represent both at once, or neither…

Buy the book to read the rest, and the REST! ALL of the incredible essays, stories, poems, naked pictures (yes, naked pictures), cartoons, and conversations. I’m serious. You want this one. Go get it.

2) Coming & Crying

Edited by Melissa Gira Grant and Meaghan O’Connell. (Don’t get it.)

comingandcryingThis is the other book I’m in. You don’t need to read it.

The project itself, from a purely observational standpoint, is fascinating. Melissa Gira Grant and Meaghan O’Connell decided they wanted to have an intervention into publishing — especially published sex writing — and to bring more of the rich, raw, honest writing style that was surfacing on the internet (about sex) to the printed page. They used a service called Kickstarter to raise some money from the community before they gathered the writing, so they could self-publish it properly. Their goal was to raise $3,000. They raised $17,000. And now they’re starting their own media label.

(But just because the project is fascinating does not mean you have to buy the book.)

The book is erotica-meets-drama. It’s a book of sex stories with all the messy awkwardness and overanalysis left in. I wrote a story for it. It’s under my real name. It’s a very personal story. Let’s just accept right now that I’m never going to run for Senate.

If you are a member of my family, I strongly recommend that you (please) do not buy this book. If you have a purely professional relationship with me and would rather not feel weird the next time you see me, I also really don’t think you should buy it.

And if you’re anyone else, you know what? We’re in a recession. You need to buy groceries. Look! Shiny things! I think your grandmother is on fire. Don’t look at the book.

Also? It was a limited print run. They’re gonna sell out soon anyway. And who knows — they might not print any more. So you probably can’t get the book anyway. It wasn’t meant to be. No, you can’t see an excerpt. You never heard about this. Enjoy your day.

(Don’t get it.)


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6 Responses to “I’m in two books. You should only buy one of them.”

  1. Heidi Johnson Says:

    Since I blush even at the mention of the subject, I promise I won’t buy the second book and I’ll probably just look at the first book when I find it on Rachel’s bookshelf during some visit or other. But you should keep up the good work. Just because it isn’t everyday fare for 60 year old moms, doesn’t mean it isn’t important. Tolerance in any form is a positive.

  2. jenka Says:

    Ok, but seriously, how did this ludicrous phrase, “holding space” happen? Like, literally, space is an intangible void, a gap at best, there is no way to HOLD it. It is unholdable. If you were going to see a movie with gender variance advocacy and you were standing in line, and gender variance advocacy said, “hey, I gotta hit the little girls/boys/other room,” you would technically be able to say you’re *saving space* for once gender variance advocacy returns, but that would imply that it was absent in the intervening time, while you were saving that space for it, which isn’t accurate either. Really, the offensively nonsensical, new-age infused “holding space” phrase needs to be exorcised from the language entirely.

    Also, congratulations on being in two books! I see many more in store!!

  3. Sara Says:

    Since I don’t know you and hope that will not make you feel awkward about it, I read Coming & Crying today. Yours was my favorite. I might have cried. Thank you.

  4. Sarah Dopp Says:



    Thank you so much for telling me.


  5. Louise Says:


    Just wanted to let you know I agree with Sara. I read your story in Coming & Crying and it was definately my favourite. It was just SO brilliantly written. I felt the need to stalk you and figure out how to message you to let you know how much I enjoyed and appreciated your story.

    I live in Australia so it took a while for the book to get to me but im glad I waited it out.
    Your story made it worthwhile.


  6. Dopp Juice » Blog Archive » Happy 2011! Says:

    […] I also spoke at Oberlin College, co-coordinated a camp weekend for transgender children, produced a public reading of content from Genderfork, and was published in two books. […]